When considering the custody of children during a divorce or separation, children can often get lost. There are several ways you can help make the process as painless as possible for your children.
Helping your children
- children often think the divorce is their fault. Listen carefully and reassure your child - perhaps many times over - that it is not their fault
- divorcing couples have said it can be very difficult not to ask the child who they want to live with. You should try to avoid this as it can place a lot of pressure on the child. The child may feel they are being asked which parent they love more
- stability is important while you and your family make the transition. For example -
- routines
- schools
- club times
If there is no question about your child’s safety and you can agree financial support, property, and arrangements, you can fill in forms. You will not need to go to court for a hearing. If you cannot agree these terms, then a judge could become involved, or you could be referred to mediators.
Contact and residence
When parents are separating or divorcing and cannot agree on arrangements for their children, the family courts can issue a Contact or Residence Order. It will determine visiting rights and where the child will live. The cafcass website may assist you with further information about contact and residence orders.
Counselling and mediation
If you are thinking of separating from or divorcing your partner, there are different ways to decide details like your children’s care and splitting property and finance. A counsellor may also help you find ways to save your marriage. It is far better if you can come to an agreement between yourselves. Further locations for Relate can be found on their website.